P.P.S. I know the P.S. usually comes after, but I don't care today.
So.
My family and I just got back from the most magical cruise ever. It was a 7 day Carnival cruise to the Western Caribbean. We visited Mexico, Belize, Honduras, and the Grand Cayman Islands. We did an Amazing Race adventure, went snorkeling on coral reefs, climbed Mayan Ruins, and visited one of the highest ranked beaches in the world. Being on a cruise with your five favorite people in the world is one of the best things in life. However, the highlight was something I never expected.
Here's the story. (I'm going to really try to abbreviate it, but it might be difficult)
Day 1. I got on the ship and saw Lip Sync Battle Auditions on the itinerary. My family said I should audition. I agreed to at least go watch and see.
Note: In my mind, the Lip Sync Battle would be a bunch of kids and people with liquid courage.... I thought the audition would be for a show with a bunch of different people performing- kind of like a low pressure talent show (cause you don't actually sing).
Day 2 (Day at Sea). We go to the auditions. They call for guys and girls to volunteer. After some convincing, I was the last person to join. First thing they do is say that we had 2 minutes to find 'swagger' and then strut it out. After that, I don't remember anything, but there is video proof of everything, so you get to see my ridiculous attempts. Basically, the audience voted and weeded out 1 boy and 1 girl through 3 rounds.The 'swagger' round, the 'dancing' round, and the 'lip sync' round. The audience voted me through each time
Round 1. My 'swagger' was a salt shaker and a fork.
Round 2. What I call the 'I'm panicking dance'
Round 3. Even my banana microphone couldn't save my white girl awkwardness.
The Winners
As you can tell, I am not a performer, but the audience voted me through anyway. I was announced as the Lip Sync Battle Female Contestant. Then the male contestant and I were given a bag with an ipod with all of the possible songs, books with song lyrics, and a schedule. I remember looking at the schedule and realizing that my cruise was not going to be carefree and casual anymore. I had assigned times for a photo shoot, a mini lip sync battle, a cruise TV interview, a dress rehearsal, and the final show on the last night of the cruise. The girl in charge started talking about costumes and backup dancers and how we were 'the celebrities of the ship'.
I finally realized that the Lip Sync Battle is the main event of the cruise, and I was the main attraction.
Note: At this point, I was simultaneously terrified and ridiculously excited. For years I've said that I want to become famous just so I can get on Dancing with the Stars. I (obviously) can't dance, I can't sing, I can't act, but I love it. I've been lip syncing and white girl dancing at weddings and dances and for no reason whatsoever for years. I never thought I'd get a chance to scratch that itch.
Day 3. This day was mainly to help promote the final event. We met for a quick photo shoot so that they could get pictures of us. I had to wear this robe thingy. After pictures, we went up the Mini Lip Sync Battle. The other guy and I took turns doing 2 really quick songs each. Once again, I totally didn't get it. I thought it wasn't a big deal. I was wrong. There were hundreds of people there. I was so stinkin nervous. I did okay I think. There isn't video of it, but I pulled out my ponytail and did a hair flip during the second song which was kinda cool. The moment I remember and will always remember is when the audience cheered to determine who won. They were SO LOUD! If that had been it, I still would say it was a dream come true. But that wasn't it.
The first part of the dance. The rest got cut off.
Oh that face. Ugh. We'll keep this picture small.
Another delightful face
My Reaction
Days 4-6. I also would regularly realize that I would be dancing in front of 2000 people and my stomach would churn and my heart rate would increase and I'd start sweating. People recognized me all over the boat and wished me luck. Good times.
Day 7. The Big Day. I got up early for a Cruise TV interview with the cruise director. I doubt anybody was watching besides the two contestants' families, but it was still a hoot.
Note: I wasn't planning on being on TV or on stage during this cruise. I had absolutely no makeup. So thanks to my family for helping me out.
Next was the dress rehearsal. They put me into a black sequined pantsuit and handed me a huge afro wig. I had backup dancers!!!! And a dressing room!!!! I should be embarrassed by how much fun I had at the rehearsal.
Finally, it was time. Thanks to my amazing family (who had reserved seats in the front row), there is video of nearly the whole thing. Actually, it's just of me. 2000 people were there. The other guy was also really great. Kids came up and did a thing, and the crew did some stuff in between. But you're reading MY blog so you get to watch ME make a fool out of myself. So I'll shut up now and just let you watch.
The posters all over the ship
My introduction: I thought I'd be funny and pretend to do the splits. Please note that my adrenaline fueled body thought I was more flexible than I am, so those splits went too far. I am not that flexible, and I was limping the next day.
(Although the video is only 3 minutes long, it's too big for the blog. Here's the link)
The video they showed in between rounds.
The results.
Afterwards, people came to me and wanted to take pictures with me. With ME! No actual talent and no status outside of the ship. I walked into breakfast the next morning and received applause. For a week I was a star, and I had so much fun. Thank you Carnival Miracle and the whole team who made this possible. Hope you enjoyed laughing at me. See ya soon!
-C-
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