Bad Blood, Miss Colorado, 10,000

Hello Friends, Family, and Faithful readers!

Unless all of you unanimously decide to stop reading my blog, after this post, I will have just over 10,000 views on this blog. Quite honestly, that's not a lot considering I've posted pretty frequently, but it seems like a significant number so I've decided to celebrate with this ridiculous post. 

I am an oncology nurse, and one day I realized that my favorite singer- Miss Taylor Swift - wrote a song you might have heard of called Bad Blood (complete with an awesome music video). I happen to work with people who have bad blood. Literally. I love my job, and I love working with cancer patients. Cancer is a terrifying diagnosis, and I get to be there for people in a scary time. So I decided to change the lyrics of this song to fit my kind of bad blood or leukemia (blood cancer). Then I recorded myself.

Here are about 10,000 disclaimers:

I wrote this and then realized that without the music, you can't appreciate the brilliance of my lyrics. I am a little proud of it so I felt the need to put the words to music. Unfortunately, Taylor herself will probably not sing these particular words, so it's up to me.

I am showing all of you how much I love and trust you because I am recording my own singing. I do not have a good voice. At all. But I will not apologize for the pathetic, weak, and thready voice with those horrible highish notes because I am totally going out of my comfort zone here and that totally makes up for the pain it might cause you. Yes I am embarrassing myself. 

I attached the lyrics because 1. You might not understand me and 2. I'm going for a 10,000 character (letters and punctuation) count for this post. I messed up in this video but recording and listening to myself over and over again was too painful so you can deal with the mistakes. 

This is in no way scientific. You should not base your treatment on this song. Not every leukemia is curable. I am not trying to give anyone false hope or false information. This is me feebly trying to come up with words that kind of rhyme. THIS SONG IS NOT FACT. THIS IS GOOFY.

We're getting rid of the bad blood

We call it leukemia

There's lots of work to be done

We're getting rid of the bad blood (hey!)

Now we're fixing the problems

I believe we can solve them

It's gonna be tough but

We''re getting rid of the bad blood (hey!)

With this diagnosis

Some cells in your blood are called malignant

They are growing too fast

The healthy cells aren't going to last

Some signs of cancer might be 

You feel weak maybe you start to bleed

You feel like you're in so deep

All at once it can be overwhelming

Oh I'm so glad we found it in time

Both you and I

(Chorus)

If you catch it in time

Stem cell transplants can save your life

Chemo will kill the bad cells

But you might not feel very well

Medications will help you get through

When all of it catches up to you

You might want to give up hope

But treatments' come a long way, so Don't!

Oh, I'm so glad we live in modern times

You and I

(Chorus)

But band-aids don't fix bullet holes

I'm so sorry, I hope you know

We've got your back, you're not alone

But band-aids don't fix bullet holes

I'm so sorry, I hope you know

We've got your back, you're not alone

And with love like that

Cancer, WATCH YOUR BACK!

Tada!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Still going for the 10,000 character count)

Yup. Now you all have blackmail for the rest of my life. You're welcome.  

Anywhoo...... On to the next topic. I don't know what any of you have heard about Miss Colorado in the Miss America pageant or anything that followed. I am friends with a disproportionate amount of nurses on social media, so for me it has been EVERYWHERE, but it's possible that you missed it. Here's a quick update. 

In the talent portion of the Miss America pageant, Miss Colorado walked up to the stage wearing scrubs and a stethoscope. She gave a short monologue about being a nurse and a story of one of her patients that changed her life. It was short and sweet, but very good. All of my nursey friends were talking (in person and online) about how cool it was that she presented nursing as her talent. They admired and appreciated her.

Soon after, a TV show was talking about the pageant and made some derogatory remarks about nursing. I'm not going to go into details because that's not my point. In response, nurses got all fired up and defensive about our incredible profession. The main point is that the TV hostess didn't understand what nursing is all about.  It's the hot topic of conversation amongst nurses- who can come up with the best comeback or meme. 

(Just counted and 10,000 characters is a lot. I apologize for this long post.)

Here's my point. I think that a lot of people really don't have any clue what nurses do. For most of my life, I viewed nurses as the people in a doctor's office who took my height and weight and told me to wait for the doctor. That wasn't what I wanted to do... Even in nursing school while I was in the hospitals, I thought that all we did was pass medications and hope that people needed new IVs or dressings changed so we could practice our skills. That's not it at all. I think that instead of being angry and aggressive, we should try to educate people and help them understand. 

I realize that I am still a new nurse, and I can't speak for all nurses, hospitals, or situations. However, it is possible that I can still help teach you. So, in one disjointed paragraph, here's what I think nursing is: 

Nursing is taking in megawatts of information and picking out what's important. Developing a trusting relationship in the 20 minutes you have before you need to see the person in the next room. Looking at the big picture but still paying attention to the details. Performing accurate, thorough, informative assessments. Coordinating 6 doctors, social work, case managers, respiratory, physical therapy, xray techs, and your own work to make a reasonable plan- then doing that for multiple patients. Looking at a patient's medication list and being able to know the person's history. Knowing when to use your heart and when to use your head. Teaching at every opportunity. Continuously learning new machines, new policies, new research, and new team members and being able to use them effectively. Putting your own stress aside so you can hold someone's hand for 10 minutes. Prioritizing when it might seem like everything is a priority. Making quick decisions with wisdom and confidence. Taking more phone calls than is reasonable. Caring for family and patients as they deal with some of life's toughest moments. Learning to transition from crying to smiling in the time it takes to walk across the hall. 

So yeah. Be a nurse :)

I'm still a ways from reaching 10,000 characters. 

And I'm exhausted.

I need to waste some space.  

I'm going to type Oncology Nurse with my elbows.

OLOCDOKLIOFYJNuierse

Now with my feet.

Ojnc jnmoiklgy NMuerasdrfe

Now with my chin

ionjcikkolokgyh njhuhtrdfdsdrrte

(That's really hard to do without looking at the keyboard)

And I'm still not to 10,000. Well. A picture is word a thousand words, so that video can count for the rest of them. There you go. 

In this post I have given you my most embarrassing moment, 10,000ish characters, a rant, and so much love. 

Til next time. 

-C-

A delayed thank you

   The other day, there was a brand new nurse who was orienting on my unit. It was her very first day. I was doing a procedure and asked her if she would like to come and watch me so she could get some experience. I had done it quite a few times, so I explained it to her.
    A while later, I was cleaning up some of my old junk out of my apartment, and I came across all of my old care maps and papers I did in nursing school. There was quite a pile. It represented a lot of agonizing, lack of sleep, hand cramps, and sweat.
   This made me think back to nursing school, and I would like to reflect a little bit on people who helped me out when I was brand new and scared out of my mind. There are a few specific examples that represent a much broader spectrum of people who gave me their time, compassion, and knowledge. Here's to you.

Thank you to the nursing assistant who took me to the side when a horribly mean patient made me cry in nursing school. She told me that it wasn't me, and that I was going to be a good nurse.

Thank you to the professor who marked me down on my papers because she knew that I was capable of more. She challenged me to think critically and try harder.

Thank you to my preceptors at Mayo and Northwestern who spent so much of their time teaching me when I was brand new, had no confidence, and had a million questions. Thanks for bringing extra books for me to read and showing me how to look things up so that I could continue learning.

Thank you to the doctors who would quiz me on my shadowing days and would try to teach me everything they knew in a couple of hours.

Thank you to the professors who wouldn't let me give up if I didn't get it right the first time. You helped me build my confidence and believe in myself.

Thank you mom for patiently listening to me cry or vent when I was stressed, sad, or got a bad test result back.

Thank you to all the nurses who would pull me into a room to show me a procedure or a strange wound or an interesting disease.

Thank you to all of the nurses who I graduated with for going through nursing school with me. We are all much more comfortable with each other than is normal.

Thank you to all the hospitals and patients that allowed a bunch of scaredy cat nursing students work with actual people. Thanks for entrusting us with your lives.

Thank you to my roommates, family, and friends who let me listen to your lungs and test out your reflexes. Thanks for listening to my gross stories and for getting excited for me.

Thanks for reading this blog :)

Love you all. See ya 'round.

-C-

Aspirations

   So originally I had another idea for this post, but I'm still working on it. Last night, I was bemoaning the fact that I didn't have any prepared blog ideas, but I've got one for you today. :)

  Today I didn't work on the floor. During training/orientation, they (don't ask me who 'they' are) have every nurse follow around different people to get a glimpse of other departments that mostly relate to where you're working. At my last job, I went to the cath lab and the pacemaker nurse and EKG techs etc.... For my new job I get a few different experiences as well (radiation oncology, outpatient oncology, wound care, etc.) Today, I was really inspired by the nurse that I worked with. I'm inspired and influenced by a lot of people, but I don't always feel the need to share it. Today was an exception.

   I followed this guy all around the hospital for about 5 hours. He greeted nearly every person by name- from the transporter to the nurses to the secretaries to the doctors to the CNAs. Each time he introduced me to someone, he would lift the person up. He would tell me that this person was a great worker and give me an example. Or that they've been friends for years and tell me a funny story. Not only that, but the guy I knew less than a day would talk me up as well. He'd introduce me and say something nice like, "she's working with me today and is really bright" (whether or not that's true is up in the air, but I sure liked hearing it)
    This kindness didn't just extend to the hospital staff. Each time he walked into a patient's room, he'd compliment the patient right off the bat. He'd start a conversation and include me in a very kind way. We needed to work with a patient who was giving the nurses a lot of problems. He waltzed right in that room and charmed the patient so much that he hardly noticed me working on him. Didn't give me one problem.
   Throughout the day, he was encouraging to me and pointed out some of my strengths that he noticed. He had a lot of knowledge about his job and taught me an incredible amount in 5 hours.

   In general, I think that I'm a pretty friendly person. There are good days and bad days, but for the most part I smile and try to make small talk. Compared to this guy, I am cold. I'm not posting this to degrade myself by the way- just to make an impression on you.
  Anywho... I learned a few things from this. One. I am now aspiring to be more like this nurse. Two. Can you imagine how incredible the world would be if every person was lifted up every time they were introduced or greeted? I want to speak about people in such a way that they feel better about themselves when they walk away. In my humble opinion, I think some of that is a choice, and part of it is a mindset. If I work on viewing people the way God views them, it will be a lot easier to see their strengths and not their shortcomings.

    I think I learned a lot more than what was intended :)
    That's all. I have a plan for next week's blog, but I actually have to work on it. Hang in there.

-C-