I'm posting this after a 12 hour shift, so if my grammar or spelling is poor, you'll know why.
I had a crazy night last night. It was really busy right off the bat. I don't think I sat down to take a breath and regroup until 1am. (However, I think I handled a busy night rather well which I'm kind of proud of.) After I had caught up on everything and was able to set my mind straight, I had an encounter that I'd like to share with you.
A while ago, I worked three nights in a row (36+ hours) with the most difficult patient I've ever had. Not only was he very insistent and particular about his care, but he was unkind at times and he was medically very complicated. He was an extremely sick man and we were doing absolutely everything we could for him, but he was really discouraged and frustrated with his progress. Every day when I gave report, I would apologize to the day nurse because I felt like he was such a heavy load. During my time with him, I had the opportunity to pray with him multiple times. The day after my 3rd night, he ended up going to the ICU. Although he was the most difficult patient I've ever had, I cared about this man and wanted to know what his outcome was.
Fast forward to last night. I was sitting at the nursing station and found out that this patient had passed away that evening.
The next minute, one of my patient puts on his call light. I go into the room for some small thing and at 3 in the morning, I end up having a 20 minute conversation with this guy about how he fell in love with his wife the moment he saw her on the dance floor 67 years ago. He told me all about his sons, his business, and some of the most important points of his life. He had been the hospital for over a month and was finally getting ready to go back home, so he was ecstatic. He told me that I was a kind and intelligent nurse and then muttered that I was his favorite.
As I walked out of that room, it hit me just how ridiculously dichotomous my job is. It blew my mind for a minute and then I moved on and finished my shift. Then, on my way home, the song Blessed Be Your Name came on the radio. When it hit the bridge, "You give and take away" I thought of these two moments that came back to back and both touched me in powerful ways. Then I knew I had to blog about it. It's a crazy thing when a nurse can be in tears one moment, walk into a different room, and start laughing right away. I hope this encounter gives you a glimpse of the nursing life.
Love to all,
-C-
BTW, you all are really bad at commenting on my posts.
Tuesday, December 30, 2014
Sunday, December 28, 2014
Intentional
Hello blogging friends! Long time no see. I've never typed that sentence out before, and I have to admit I don't really like it in writing. No see? Huh.
Anyway, life has been full and busy. Christmas is always a busy time, but with a holiday work schedule thrown in there, I have completely lost track of what day it is, when I am supposed to sleep, and when to eat which meal ( I had tilapia and cheerios for 'breakfast' the other day.) BTW, what is the definition of breakfast? When you wake up? The morning meal? When you eat cereal? Does it only consist of the traditional 'breakfast' foods? Deep thoughts here. Make me feel popular and comment on your definition of breakfast below!
Anyway.... Thank you to those who have been praying for my sleeping schedule, it's been much better the last week and a half. A trick for future night shift workers- melatonin works. I only used it a couple of times, but it seemed to get me out of a bad rhythm. It's also possible that taking a pill just tricked me into thinking that I was sleepy.... I guess I'll never know. ;)
Something I've been realizing lately is how important it is to be intentional. I've reached the point at work where I can go into a twelve hour shift and make it through even if I have ridiculously challenging patients, virtually no sleep, or a really bad headache. I can push through and survive. *Insert round of applause because that's a necessary but challenging accomplishment.* The downside to this is that I might be tempted to go into survival mode even when that's not necessary.
I might have mentioned this in a previous post, but I can tell the difference in the way I care for people when I had an intentional devotional time with God before my shift and prayed for Him to help me glorify Him through my actions. Another habit I've tried to start is taking a deep breath before I walk into a patient's room and smiling intentionally. This puts me at ease which leads to better care and makes my patient feel like they are receiving the best care possible. Unfortunately, sometimes I'm so busy, I forget.
In short, what I've learned is that I can coast through a shift and do everything that is required, but everything can be improved by being intentional. Some of you might be thinking, "well duh!" but it takes a lot of effort to be intentional. However, the results are worth it. Now that I've identified this concept, it's helped me make some resolutions as I head into the new year. I want to be intentional at work, but I also want to be intentional in some other areas of my life. Here are a few things that I'm going to work on that all of you can hold me accountable to:
-As someone who is perfectly content to spend her day off running errands by myself, going to restaurants or movie theaters alone, or binge watching Netflix, I'm going to be more intentional about spending time with other living and breathing creatures. People need people.
- I'm going to be more intentional about my time with God. I'm really quite good at routines and reading my Bible consistently. However, am I confining God's opportunity to speak to me during the ten to twenty minutes I set aside each day?
-I am going to be intentional about joining some sort of small group somewhere with someone about something.
- I am going to be intentional about my resources- mainly my time and my money. I have been blessed with so much, and much is expected of me.
I don't want to turn this into a preaching type of blog, but I challenge you in the coming year to be intentional. It's difficult and takes more effort than survival mode, but I think it's worth it. Bring it on 2015!!!
Over and out
-C-
Anyway, life has been full and busy. Christmas is always a busy time, but with a holiday work schedule thrown in there, I have completely lost track of what day it is, when I am supposed to sleep, and when to eat which meal ( I had tilapia and cheerios for 'breakfast' the other day.) BTW, what is the definition of breakfast? When you wake up? The morning meal? When you eat cereal? Does it only consist of the traditional 'breakfast' foods? Deep thoughts here. Make me feel popular and comment on your definition of breakfast below!
Anyway.... Thank you to those who have been praying for my sleeping schedule, it's been much better the last week and a half. A trick for future night shift workers- melatonin works. I only used it a couple of times, but it seemed to get me out of a bad rhythm. It's also possible that taking a pill just tricked me into thinking that I was sleepy.... I guess I'll never know. ;)
Something I've been realizing lately is how important it is to be intentional. I've reached the point at work where I can go into a twelve hour shift and make it through even if I have ridiculously challenging patients, virtually no sleep, or a really bad headache. I can push through and survive. *Insert round of applause because that's a necessary but challenging accomplishment.* The downside to this is that I might be tempted to go into survival mode even when that's not necessary.
I might have mentioned this in a previous post, but I can tell the difference in the way I care for people when I had an intentional devotional time with God before my shift and prayed for Him to help me glorify Him through my actions. Another habit I've tried to start is taking a deep breath before I walk into a patient's room and smiling intentionally. This puts me at ease which leads to better care and makes my patient feel like they are receiving the best care possible. Unfortunately, sometimes I'm so busy, I forget.
In short, what I've learned is that I can coast through a shift and do everything that is required, but everything can be improved by being intentional. Some of you might be thinking, "well duh!" but it takes a lot of effort to be intentional. However, the results are worth it. Now that I've identified this concept, it's helped me make some resolutions as I head into the new year. I want to be intentional at work, but I also want to be intentional in some other areas of my life. Here are a few things that I'm going to work on that all of you can hold me accountable to:
-As someone who is perfectly content to spend her day off running errands by myself, going to restaurants or movie theaters alone, or binge watching Netflix, I'm going to be more intentional about spending time with other living and breathing creatures. People need people.
- I'm going to be more intentional about my time with God. I'm really quite good at routines and reading my Bible consistently. However, am I confining God's opportunity to speak to me during the ten to twenty minutes I set aside each day?
-I am going to be intentional about joining some sort of small group somewhere with someone about something.
- I am going to be intentional about my resources- mainly my time and my money. I have been blessed with so much, and much is expected of me.
I don't want to turn this into a preaching type of blog, but I challenge you in the coming year to be intentional. It's difficult and takes more effort than survival mode, but I think it's worth it. Bring it on 2015!!!
Over and out
-C-
Wednesday, December 17, 2014
Kind of Tough
Disclaimer: I love nursing.
Here's the thing- while nursing is probably the most amazing, versatile, expanding, and rewarding jobs in the world, there are still things that are really tough. I expected to run into them every once in a while, but the fact is that nursing is a hard job. I'm learning this and I'm going to share these experiences with you.
The hardest thing I've had to deal with is sleep. I have never had problems sleeping in my life and all of a sudden I find myself an insomniac. Part of this is because of crazy night shift schedules and me working myself up over a lack of sleep, but a big part is the fact that I can't turn my mind off after a shift. I think of my patients, I think of the things I could have done differently, I think of things that I might have missed, I think of the upcoming shift ahead and a thousand other things. I hope that I'll learn to adjust to this eventually and be able to turn my mind off. Time will tell.
While I was in school, I thought I was an expert at separating my nursing life from my personal life. I still think that I'm not bad at this, but there are definitely times when I find myself weighed down by a patient I had that night. I don't leave it all at the workplace like I want to. Sometimes, this can be great. I love seeing progress in patients and watching them get better, but there's definitely a downside when my patients are not expecting to ever get better.
I have one of the best support systems in the world. That's a fact. There are people in my life who listen to my crazy stories, who are available to talk on the phone at weird hours, and who take the time to understand my life. I am so blessed. However, there are times when I am talking to people and I feel like they don't have a clue what going to work is like. It's hard to communicate in casual conversations that crying in the bathroom for a patient who's not going home is a normal occurrence, that it's a struggle to smile going into a scared patient's room even though I was called an obscene name by a confused patient thirty seconds ago. Sometimes it's hard to admit that I have to force myself to care about someone who is difficult to love or that I have to remember to treat all patient's equally and with respect no matter what their cognitive status is.
When people in my life ask me how my job is going, I say, "It's going really well." That's true. I'm learning so much, getting great experience, caring for wonderful people, working alongside talented team members, and fulfilling my calling. But it's also kind of tough.
Here's the thing- while nursing is probably the most amazing, versatile, expanding, and rewarding jobs in the world, there are still things that are really tough. I expected to run into them every once in a while, but the fact is that nursing is a hard job. I'm learning this and I'm going to share these experiences with you.
The hardest thing I've had to deal with is sleep. I have never had problems sleeping in my life and all of a sudden I find myself an insomniac. Part of this is because of crazy night shift schedules and me working myself up over a lack of sleep, but a big part is the fact that I can't turn my mind off after a shift. I think of my patients, I think of the things I could have done differently, I think of things that I might have missed, I think of the upcoming shift ahead and a thousand other things. I hope that I'll learn to adjust to this eventually and be able to turn my mind off. Time will tell.
While I was in school, I thought I was an expert at separating my nursing life from my personal life. I still think that I'm not bad at this, but there are definitely times when I find myself weighed down by a patient I had that night. I don't leave it all at the workplace like I want to. Sometimes, this can be great. I love seeing progress in patients and watching them get better, but there's definitely a downside when my patients are not expecting to ever get better.
I have one of the best support systems in the world. That's a fact. There are people in my life who listen to my crazy stories, who are available to talk on the phone at weird hours, and who take the time to understand my life. I am so blessed. However, there are times when I am talking to people and I feel like they don't have a clue what going to work is like. It's hard to communicate in casual conversations that crying in the bathroom for a patient who's not going home is a normal occurrence, that it's a struggle to smile going into a scared patient's room even though I was called an obscene name by a confused patient thirty seconds ago. Sometimes it's hard to admit that I have to force myself to care about someone who is difficult to love or that I have to remember to treat all patient's equally and with respect no matter what their cognitive status is.
When people in my life ask me how my job is going, I say, "It's going really well." That's true. I'm learning so much, getting great experience, caring for wonderful people, working alongside talented team members, and fulfilling my calling. But it's also kind of tough.
Wednesday, December 3, 2014
Moments: Episode 2
When thinking of names for my posts, I'm a dunce. When thinking of ways to tell stories without the ability to imitate voices or actions, I'm at a loss. I've already said that so many of the things that happen are just a moment in time. Also, I'm a terrible story teller. I've decided the best way to relate my experiences are by reliving some of my memorable moments. So here's my second edition of moments.
-I had a patient who would ask me for the alcohol wipes I used so she could smell them. She also collected all of the medicine cups we used for her art.
-Confused patient rips off his heart monitor and when I go in to put it back on, he informs me that they are extension cords and need to go back to his office.
-I walk into a young patients room and find her crying. Even though it's during the busiest time of the evening, I had the opportunity to pray with her and take a walk around the unit with her. She remembered my name and mentioned it to my manager the next day.
-Tiny old Polish lady who barely spoke any English grabbed my head in between her hands, dragged it down to the bed, and kissed my forehead. She then proceeded to tell me that I had a blessed mother.
-I do a silent fist pump every time I can sneak into a patient's room at 3am and get their blood pressure without waking them up. Victory!
-A patient (who was not mine) was upset by the construction noise going on around midnight and accused the entire hospital of breaking at least three different laws she could think of- the ones I remember her saying specifically was that we were Disturbing-The-Peace and Causing-Intentional-Emotional-Harm.
-The patient mentioned above along with a few other confused patients have threatened to call the police. Mostly because we tell them that they can't leave the hospital at two in the morning in a gown with an insulin drip, restraints, or 2 IVs and go back to Edinburgh.
-A patient confides in me that the only reason he keeps fighting is because of his son.
-We're moving a patient to a private room at 1:30 in the morning. She has one of those wheelchairs with the controls on the armrest. There's no other way to control it. One of the PCAs is trying to get the wheelchair down the hall, but it's not straight. She presses the button, runs alongside it until she bumps into the wall, turns it, does it again. All the way down the hall.
-Nurses sit at the station when all of us are hitting the 4am wall and start relating stories of the craziest patients.
-I call the doctor late in the night for admission orders and he hangs up on me when I'm only half done. I page him again and have to wait another 45 minutes before he calls back.
-I've started a new game with myself- it's called hide-and-seek-alarm edition. You have to guess which the alarm is coming from before trying to track it down. I'm getting pretty good.
That's all I can think of for now. I'm sure there are some moment's I'm missing, but I'll save those for another time. Have a great day!
-C-
-I had a patient who would ask me for the alcohol wipes I used so she could smell them. She also collected all of the medicine cups we used for her art.
-Confused patient rips off his heart monitor and when I go in to put it back on, he informs me that they are extension cords and need to go back to his office.
-I walk into a young patients room and find her crying. Even though it's during the busiest time of the evening, I had the opportunity to pray with her and take a walk around the unit with her. She remembered my name and mentioned it to my manager the next day.
-Tiny old Polish lady who barely spoke any English grabbed my head in between her hands, dragged it down to the bed, and kissed my forehead. She then proceeded to tell me that I had a blessed mother.
-I do a silent fist pump every time I can sneak into a patient's room at 3am and get their blood pressure without waking them up. Victory!
-A patient (who was not mine) was upset by the construction noise going on around midnight and accused the entire hospital of breaking at least three different laws she could think of- the ones I remember her saying specifically was that we were Disturbing-The-Peace and Causing-Intentional-Emotional-Harm.
-The patient mentioned above along with a few other confused patients have threatened to call the police. Mostly because we tell them that they can't leave the hospital at two in the morning in a gown with an insulin drip, restraints, or 2 IVs and go back to Edinburgh.
-A patient confides in me that the only reason he keeps fighting is because of his son.
-We're moving a patient to a private room at 1:30 in the morning. She has one of those wheelchairs with the controls on the armrest. There's no other way to control it. One of the PCAs is trying to get the wheelchair down the hall, but it's not straight. She presses the button, runs alongside it until she bumps into the wall, turns it, does it again. All the way down the hall.
-Nurses sit at the station when all of us are hitting the 4am wall and start relating stories of the craziest patients.
-I call the doctor late in the night for admission orders and he hangs up on me when I'm only half done. I page him again and have to wait another 45 minutes before he calls back.
-I've started a new game with myself- it's called hide-and-seek-alarm edition. You have to guess which the alarm is coming from before trying to track it down. I'm getting pretty good.
That's all I can think of for now. I'm sure there are some moment's I'm missing, but I'll save those for another time. Have a great day!
-C-
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)