6 Months

   There are times in your life that seem to fly by and others that seem to drag on. Sometimes an hour seems like it can last forever while a day can seem so short. In some ways, time can drag and speed along at the same time. I've been working for 6 months today. In some ways, that time has flown by and I can't believe it's already March. In other ways, I think to myself, "it's only been six months? It's seemed like forever!" 

   I feel like anniversary posts are supposed to be special, but I did not come into this post with a plan so we'll see if anything special happens.

   To start off, I'll tell a short story that made me laugh. 

   We had a patient (not my patient) who was extremely confused and in restraints. When we got there at seven, he was yelling out profanities galore. As the night went on, it got louder and more frequent. As in a constant stream of terrible language at the top of his lungs. I learned a few new combinations that I wouldn't have thought of by myself. The nurse taking care of him got an order for a sedative which you have to give as a shot. She asked me to come in and help hold his arm to make sure he didn't jerk. I agreed and we went into the room to explain the procedure to him. The nurse said, "Mr. _____ we're here to give you a shot that will help you feel more relaxed and calm." He stopped his yelling, looked at us, told us to hold on a sec, turned to the wall, and resumed cussing somebody out. There was no one there. After he got the shot, he was much calmer until early in the morning when the shot was due again. I once again went into help the nurse and as we were talking to him, he started to call us some terrible names. The nurse said, "That's not very nice, sir." He looked at me and stated calmly, "I'm not talking to you." Then he turned to the wall and proceeded to loudly insult the unknown entity. I'm not quite sure what he saw in his mind, but whoever or whatever it was, I want to keep my distance. 

    In honor of 6 months, I'm going to share the top 6 things I've learned. Disclaimer: I might be repeating something mentioned in other posts. 

6. My biggest strength is my focus and efficiency. I am darn good at getting stuff done. I always leave on time and have everything done in a timely manner. I'm pretty proud of this skill. 

5. My biggest weakness is my focus and efficiency. Sometimes I am so focused on getting stuff done that I miss moments where slowing down would be beneficial. Hopefully, when I write my next post about new things I've learned, I will have figured out how to still be focused but not miss those important moments. 

4. I want to go back to school soon. I thought when I started nursing that I could be a floor nurse forever. I've learned that even though it is a good fit for me now, I recognize the fact that I can't do it for the rest of my life. It's hard and exhausting physically, emotionally, and mentally. I want to go to school so I can have other options. 

3. People will never cease to surprise me. I am so often startled by a person's remarks or the way a person reacts to something. I have developed a poker face that I use frequently to mask my surprise at something someone says. I love the variety. I love the surprises. I love people. They make life interesting. 

2. Living life as a new grad, getting an apartment, starting a new job, working night shift, adjusting  to change.... these are really tough things. Change is hard. There are times that I feel like I'm rocking this life and there are times when I question my ability to function. As I'm sitting here reflecting on the last six months, I am trying to picture where I was six months ago. I have come a long way and accomplished a lot of things that I wanted to. I also have a long way to go. I have a list of both my accomplishments and my goals.  Life is hard, but I have a fantastic support system and a faithful God. I'm looking forward to where the next six months will take me. Hopefully, I'll have a few more things figured out :) 

1. I was reading in Matthew the other day and I read the verse, "Whatever you did for the least of these, you did for me." This gave me the reminder that even when I turn someone who can't even turn themself and can't even say thank you, I am serving the Lord. When I put a 300 pound woman on the bedpan every half hour, I am serving the Lord. "Whatever you do, do with all your heart, as working for the Lord and not for men." Even when it is so hard to see any fruit from my hard work, I can remember that it's not about me. I am so thankful for this because I admit that there are times when it doesn't feel very good. If I was a nurse only for me, I'd lose my compassion and my ambition. This has to be the biggest thing that I've learned. And ultimately, it makes it all worth it. 

I think that pretty much covered it. Thanks for reading. Love to all. 

-C-