The Dark Side

This is supposed to be a blog about nursing. I try my best to tell stories and give insight and inspire because I really think that nursing is the best. That being said, today I am going to be very blatant about how things go sometimes. I am not going to defend myself because I'm not in the mood. Nursing is not always rainbows and butterflies.

Sometimes I walk out of a patient's room, lean against the wall, and let out a big ol' sigh because I just can't deal with them anymore. 

As I walk away, I frequently roll my eyes at patients and family members. I mutter and grumble as I answer the call light for the 10th time that hour. 

My sense of humor can be very dark and insensitive. I laugh at inappropriate things. 

I am no angel when it comes to cleaning up bodily fluids. I make disgusted faces and do not have a good attitude at all. 

If a call light goes off, I don't jump up to answer it. I am lazy and hope someone else will. 

Nurses are supposed to always believe what the patient says about their pain, but I don't.

I participate in gossip on the unit.  

There are days when I give the patients nothing of myself. I simply do the necessary work and then leave. 

Sometimes I really don't want to go to work.

Charting is annoying and repetitive.

Sometimes I feel very negatively about coworkers, doctors, and other members of the healthcare team. 

I complain about things that don't matter and make issues out of things that aren't a big deal. 

People really really annoy me sometimes. I get tired and cranky and hungry and my feet hurt and my back hurts and I touch gross things and I smell gross things and there are days when I don't think I really help anyone and sometimes I hide in the bathroom so I don't have to deal with people for an extra 3 minutes. 

The list could go on, but I'll stop there. I could start a new list about all the amazing things, but that would ruin my point for the day. Every job has pros and cons.

 Do I love it? Yes. Do I want to do anything else? No. But sometimes nursing really stinks (literally). Go hug a nurse today. But make sure they disinfect themselves first. 

Then and Now

Hey readers! How are you today? Sitting in the house alone this morning, I had some extra time on my hands while the Olympics played in the background. I ended up reading some of my old posts. A couple of things came to mind.
1. My blog is entitled Lettuce, Tomato, and Mayo because this blog started when I was heading off to Mayo Clinic for a summer externship and the title seemed clever at the time. I know it no longer applies, but I don't have a better backup option.
2. I am not a better writer now. Most people would assume that with experience comes improvement, but not in my case. Apparently, I've reached my peak.
3. My life has changed in many ways in the last 3 years. Early twenties are always a time of transition and growth, but it was kind of fun to see how much has changed. Here's just a couple of comparisons from then to now.

2013
-Still in school with one year left
-Blessed with amazing preceptors who taught me so much
-First time working full time in a hospital.
-Here's a quote from a post I wrote that summer "I have been given much. With that, much is expected of me. I get to be with people during the most vulnerable points in their lives. I have the opportunity to listen, encourage, pray with, pray for, empathize, cry with, and give hope to people on a daily basis. I hope that I never lose sight of the magnitude of this privilege. I hope that in 20 or 30 years that I can still cry. I hope that in 20 or 30 years, I will still recognize that I have a responsibility. The responsibility part doesn't just come from being a nurse. My responsibility to care for people comes from loving God. Nursing is just an excellent way to make it a career. "

2016
-In grad school with over a year left
-I have the privilege of starting to precept other nurses. This is a big deal to me since teaching is something I want to pursue.
-I've worked for over a year in my second job.
-3 years after the start of this blog, I think I am past the honeymoon phase of nursing. Charting is tedious, passing medications is routine, and the excitement of being an independent nurse has worn off. However, when I look at the quote from 3 years ago, nothing has changed. It's still a privilege to love, learn, and listen to my patients. There have been multiple privileges in the past couple of weeks to talk to people about God's love and pray with some others. God is continually working in my life, and I'm so glad that I have a career that gives me so many opportunities to share His love with others.

Thanks for reading!
-C-