Going Home

A few weeks ago, I said that I was 'going back home' to the United States where I  was able to spend a delightful and restful 3 weeks with my family. But then, I said I was 'going back home' to Togo and that's also true- the place where I'm living with my Togo family and my work. For me, the hardest part of missionary life is the fact that I will always be missing something. 'Going back home' means goodbye to something else. The parts of life that matter to me most, which used to be nearly exclusively contained to Northwest Indiana, are spread out over thousands of miles. 

While I am in Togo, I miss doing whatever ridiculous tricks are necessary to illicit my niece's nose-crinkly, four-toothed smile. And gathering with my family to watch our favorite TV show but being the only one still awake 20 minutes later. And learning the latest family joke that's incessantly repeated but never overdone. And simply being present with and for my people in everyday moments.  

Whilst in America, I miss the daily challenges, emotional roller-coaster experiences, and fulfillment of my dream job(s). And weekly lunches with kids squirming on my lap. And doing life with my teammates: the Togolese and Americans, the old and new, the young and old, who have changed my life. 

I started trying to compare the feeling to a Harry Potter horcrux... that my heart is being split into multiple pieces/places. But it's not that because if you're nerdy enough to know what I'm talking about, that implies that I'm less than whole. But it isn't perfect either because, even while I can be fully content in both places, I am always missing something. What I hope for is that this points me towards thinking of heaven. I hope the longing I feel leads me to realize that, while life is incredible, this is all temporary. I'm not home yet. But once there, I won't be missing anything. 

P.S. (actual missions update) Heading back into Year 2 in full force! Pray for the influx of short-term volunteers and their training, the course I am teaching at the nursing school in August, the upcoming malaria season, shifts in leadership, ongoing Bible studies, and the wisdom and strength to do it all that only God provides!