Nursey gadgets

To some of you, this post will show you nothing new. However, if you haven't spent significant time in a hospital, I'm using this post to familiarize you with some of the things that nurses use every day- mostly just the fun stuff. Thanks to my sister for this idea.

This is a saline flush. Basically, it has sterile salt water in it. We use it to flush your IV to make sure it still works. Also, after we give you a medication through your IV, we flush it with one of these bad boys to get the medication out of the IV and into your system.

This is my stethoscope. I got a pink one because it donated 10 dollars to breast cancer research if I bought this color and then I felt a little bit better about the ridiculous amount of money I had to spend on it. :) I use the stethoscope to listen to people's hearts and lungs and stomach noises.


This is a telemetry or heart monitor. We attach the box to your chest with some of the wires attached to your chest. This systems monitors your heart rhythm. It detects the electrical activity in your heart and puts it on the screen for us to read. If you're wearing one of these, we apologize for the times we have to bother you in the middle of the night to replace batteries or put one of the stickers back on.

This is a carpuject. We put vials of medication in here to give through your IV- mostly pain and anxiety medications. I keep one of these in my pocket every night. Either I end up using it every 2-4 hours or I don't use it at all.

These are the best. They are caps that attach to central lines. Central lines are basically long term, amped up IVs. Instead of going into a small vein, they go into a major/ central vein. Some central lines can last for years while others are just for a few weeks. A big problem with central lines is infection, so you have to be very careful. These little caps have alcohol solution inside of them so they are automatically cleaned when you take them off. They make life much easier.

These machines are my worst enemy. They are bipap machines that help you breathe. There are lots of different settings, but it has the potential to help push air into your lungs and also help you get it out. Unfortunately, they are a pain in the rump. They are bulky and loud and the patients hate them.


This is an IV. When we put an IV in, we are trying to get it into your vein. We poke you with a needle that is surrounded by a plastic catheter or tube. When we get it in the vein, we actually remove the needle so all that's left is the plastic. We know it hurts, and we know it's annoying, but on my floor it is required. In case of an emergency, we need to be able to get medications directly into your bloodstream- especially if you can't swallow.

I recently discovered that we keep these in our supply room. They are little aprons that we can give confused patients to keep their hands busy. Ask them to thread the loops or zip things up. Sometimes, it works wonders. Other tactics I've seen are handing confused patients some washcloths and asking them to fold them or asking them to copy a grocery list. This helps them feel like they are being useful.

This is a hoyer lift used to get patients out of bed. It's difficult to use so we mostly use it for extremely heavy patients that we can't move any other way. If it were easier to use, it would save a lot of back pain.

I couldn't find a good picture, but this shows a call light that is activated by blowing into the mouthpiece. We use this for patients who are quadriplegics or have other physical issues.

These are called SCDs or sequential compression devices. We attach them to your legs, every once in a while they puff up with air, and they keep you from getting clots in your legs by promoting circulation. Some people hate them cause they keep them awake at night. Other people like them and think they feel like a massage.

This is a bedpan.

Single Sentences

Right now I'm at the stage where I have a lot to say so instead of saying it, I just want to say nothing. I apologize. Here's my compromise that you'll have to deal with whether you like it or not cause I can't actually hear your opinion. I am going to type sentences as they pop into my head. If it requires a paragraph, I'm skipping it. Sound good? K.

I made some delicious double chocolate chip cookies this week.

I don't like doing laundry.

People can be shockingly rude even to a person (nurse) who is basically acting as their personal servant.

I am totally watching the premiere of Taylor Swift's new music video tonight, and I am pumped.

I love sleeping during the day if it's storming outside.

If I were president, my first act would be to outlaw winter.

I want to be famous so I can be on Dancing with the Stars.

I graduated from college a year ago today.

If there is a young 20-something person in your life, assure them that it's ok if they don't have everything figured out right away.

Playing bass makes me feel sassy and hip---which is completely negated by my use of those terms.

I can't think of anything else that wouldn't require a paragraph.

Nothing ordinary about it

The first thing I do after getting report on my patients is to do a quick assessment. I wanted to share what happened one night during my initial assessments. I am not changing the stories or situations. Please keep in mind that this all happened in the span of 20-30 minutes.

Room 1. Older woman who had come in initially for a 2 day stay to get a procedure. She had suffered a stroke while in the hospital and had ended up having to stay for over 10 days. She was weak, frustrated, but nearly ready to go home. As I assess her, I told her that she could probably leave the next day, and she was thrilled.

Room 2. A patient on hospice with her daughters in the room. The patient was no longer responsive, wasn't eating or drinking, and her breathing was ragged. I assessed her and wondered if she was going to make it through the night. Her daughters were tearful, so I asked them if I could pray with them. As we prayed, I held their hands while they held their mother's. I assured them that I would do everything I could to make their mother more comfortable in what could be her last night.

Room 3. A young woman who had two little girls visiting. I did the assessment and then asked the girls if they wanted to try listening through my stethoscope. I had them listen to each other's lungs and then made funny noises/ beatboxed into it. They thought it was pretty cool.

Room 4. A woman who was an ideal patient. Hardly needed anything, but was just waiting for her medications to work so she could head home.

Room 5. An elderly lady who was suspected to be a victim of elder abuse. She had wounds all over her body that didn't make sense. She was confused, in pain, and I wondered what would happen to her once she went home.

I walked out of the last room, took a deep breath, and then got back to work. I realized just how crazy it was to walk into five completely different situations, deal with completely different emotions, and then keep working. And that is what is expected of you- from praying with the family of a dying patient, taking a deep breath, and then laughing with the little girls in the next room.  This was an ordinary shift, but there was nothing ordinary about it.

Today is National Nurses Day. Find a nurse and hug them because every single shift they are expected to keep their patients safe, perform complete assessments, notice the little details and changes, chart accurately, be the patient's advocate, clean up poop, blood, and vomit, deal with difficult family members and doctors, go for hours without food or bathroom breaks, handle emotional situations and rude patients, go from room to room without letting anything phase them, experience emotional whiplash, and keep smiling through it all.

So. Go find a nurse, give them a hug and say thank you. Or give them donuts. We like those too :)

In Need of Remediation

One night recently, I paged a doctor to call me back. He is a very well respected doctor, and like usual, I tried to be as prepared as possible for when he called back. It doesn't look good if you call a doctor and then don't know your stuff. He usually calls back right away, so I was sitting at my desk charting, I took a sip of water, and then my phone rang.

Here's something you should know about me. I need remediation when it comes to swallowing. There have been numerous occasions where I have taken the cup during communion and then end up choking and hacking. I don't know how I learned long division, the Krebs cycle, and made it through a college degree when I can't even perform a basic human function.

Anyway, I took a sip of water, and then answered the phone. Then I felt the need to cough. I tried to just suppress the feeling for a short time while I answered the doctor's questions, but it was a struggle.

Another thing you should know about me. My voice is not my own when I talk on the phone. Sometimes it goes into a higher octave or sounds like a first grader who just lost her front teeth. Lots of times I get off the phone and want to slap myself.

Anyway.....I started answering the doctor's questions in a voice that sounded like it was being squeezed through a clogged tube of toothpaste. Then add some squeaks. All I needed to do was hack out a few coughs, but I didn't. I held on. At this point, the nurse next to me grabbed my empty cup of water and ran to get some more. Another nurse came over and started patting me on the back. I thought the conversation was finished, but it wasn't. I started to turn the color of Clifford the Big Red Dog. My eyes started squirting out tears, and I started to sweat like your glass of lemonade on the fourth of July.

Another thing you should know about me. There's a rumor that girls don't sweat- they glisten. It's not true. There's nothing glistening or attractive about the amount of sweat I can produce.

Finally, after pushing through the entirety of the conversation and probably making the doctor think I had some serious issues, I hung up. Then I proceeded to cough, tear up, and sweat for the next ten minutes. The nurses kept asking if I was all right. Apparently they thought I was going to pass out. One of them told me that she was about to call the rapid response team to make sure I was ok.

And that's it. If you've made it this far, you just spent the last two minutes of your life reading about my coughing spell. Hahaha. And that's all for now. Have a good day.

-C-